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Presenting
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A Metalla Production
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In cooperation with the Kasachisch-kaukasic educational television
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...and many, many more
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Markus Kavka
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In
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"Three Shots in a Liver Dumpling"
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Also starring
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Blind Guardian
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...and the usual horde of complete idiots
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And Now...
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Once upon a time, there was a mean king
named Lappsus the drölfte
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who ruled in the small realm Metalla
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He controlled his subjects with high unfairness
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for he alone could judge which bards
should be allowed to play music in his kingdom
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That's why there were some
unfortunate incidents...
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What's this?
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It's good, it's good...
Why, why do you do this to me?
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But then, 4 wackers, but poorly clothed,
went to the kingdom...
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...to have the king play their songs
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What's this shit?
no no no
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Why, why, why?
Only play it once, only one time!
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We beg for you!
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Well then...
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Now listen up,
you slimeballs
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Because I'm in a good mood today,
I'll give you each a task for my own fun at this crap!
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You have to fulfill four tasks,
and challenge four real cool guys from my castle
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Against my vassals, and I tell you,
you don't have a chance
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Did you understand me?!
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DID YOU UNDERSTAND ME?!
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Chapter One:
"Dinner, colors cheeks red"
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Then king Lappsus let be made,
a big feast
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so our heroes could mess with
the knight of bad figure
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But what's that?
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What? That can't be!
I'll give them the Swedish funnel!!
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Chapter Two:
Loud music brings you down
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Now they had to fight against
the knight of synapses
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But once again,
the vasalls could not satisfy their king
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Ehhhrrr, fuck!
That can't be
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Chapter Three:
Hop and Malts: the God of receipt
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While the king forged new cunnings,
our knights challenged the knigh of met belly...
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But King Lapsuss had not counted with the bards mighty thirst
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Chapter Four:
Deplorably loses yielded - the other one has the overview
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-And then, the price was called in...
-The victory is ours. Now play!
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But Lapsuss the drölfte was a bad loser,
and so it came to a sword battle for live and death
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I'm ready!
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The End